I haven’t wrote on my blog from my own words since my head injury occurred in Costa Rica on May 11/2011. It’s been really hard to sit down and write about it; to relive the trauma and darkness that followed. To just focus. For those who don’t know, a rock the size of my palm fell from a 30 foot waterfall and gashed open my head as I was sitting in the water on a rock talking to a girl I just met. The ironic thing is about 30 seconds before the rock landed on my head I moved over to help this girl up on the rock so she wouldn’t slip and hurt herself…

‘In a second your life can change in an instant’

...As my head jolted to the side hard and I screamed out loud. The girl next to me wide eyed, in shock, says in almost a whisper, “we need to get you out of here your bleeding.” We start swimming towards the shore. I can feel warm blood trickling down my face. My hand is on my head pulling chunks of rock out. I am disoriented and everything is in slow motion. Time is standing still. I am in shock. Is this really happening to me? Blood. So much blood. Never saw this much blood before. I thought I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds or Dexter. As we approach the shore people are starring but no one is getting a towel to compress my head. My towel is far away. A girl runs to get my towel. Another girl is pouring water on my head. Another is getting an antibacterial wipe and wiping my head but the blood soaks it up. My ear is clogged, full with blood. Finally a towel on my head and I press hard. Now people are helping me put my clothes on and shoes on. A German couple is asked by a guy I met at the waterfall to drive me to a hospital. We need to hike out of the waterfall and there is no path; it’s through a dried up creek. Walking with a towel on my head through a rock filled creek; longest walk of my life. I am in shock. Is this happening!? I want to wake up from this dream. Get to the car it starts pouring rain hard. Driving to the hospital on slippery roads and I start to fade. I just want to close my eyes and sleep. So peaceful now. 3 people start talking loud and calling my name. I am telling myself in my mind you need to stay awake Pam but another part of me is like its so peaceful now, I just want to go to sleep. I open my eyes as my name is being shouted at me. As we continue to drive I see a funeral taking place up ahead. Tears start pouring from my eyes and I am now freaking out and scared. Is this a sign, is death knocking on my door, showing its face? Eran is holding the towel on my head, he is holding my hand, he is smiling, he is so beautiful, he is telling me I will be ok but I need to stay awake. Someone died and a funeral is taking place. That could be me, I think. Hospital in Cobano, Costa Rica. About 20 people waiting for a doctor. I have no passport with me. No one speaks English. Eran is now speaking Spanish. He is arguing with the doctors and nurses; I want to go to sleep. Finally they rush me past everyone into a room. Eran is translating. I just want to collapse and surrender...

They are cleaning the wound. It burns and stings to the core of my soul. I see a needle the size of a turkey baster. I start to hyper ventilate. I feel like I am 5 years old running out of the class room at school where they give the shots. I hate needles and this one is huge.  OMG they are now freezing my head with this thing. My eyes are shut tight and I am squeezing Eran’s hand so hard. I finally open my eyes thinking it is all over and then, I see another needle with thread. OMG now they are stitching up my head!! I squeeze my eyes shut again whimpering like a small child. How can this be happening? Now I am angry, I am swearing. Fuck is my new favourite word. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you universe! How could I be having the best day and worst day all in the same few hours? Unbelievable… or is it? This is my life after all and it has been dramatic since my conception and birth...

Before this tragedy happened I was swimming with this guy I met, looking at rainbows behind the waterfall, having a picnic and listening to him play guitar. A blue morpho butterfly was fluttering around and yellow ones were playing together landing on me. Jasmine flowers (my favourite) were all around me, the scent so strong and so erotic. This amazing waterfall beside me was soothing my soul as we continuously jumped into the water from behind it. Then I decided to crawl onto another rock to take a break. I am thinking ‘life doesn’t get any better then this moment.” I am in another place in time. I am taking it all in with each breath. I am completely present. I am completely at peace… I am… startled from my thoughts as I move over and help a girl up beside me… BAM, the rock falls…

A week later I am back in Canada with a massive concussion, as well as a severe kidney problem. Yes, 4 days after the rock incident my left kidney started to shut down. Every joint in my body seized up. I could barely walk and was in so much pain with a bad fever. I have never, ever been so scared in my life. I couldn’t feel the bottom of my feet and my legs were tingling every where. I went to another Costa Rica hospital and this time had a huge needle stuck in my ass cheek to stop the pain in my joints instantly. Concussion. Head wound. About to have kidney failure. Put me out of my misery right now…. 

Trungpa Rinpoche once gave a public lecture titled "Death in Everyday Life." 
We are raised in a culture that fears death and hides it from us. Nevertheless, we experience it all the time. We experience it in the form of disappointment, in the form of things not working out. We experience it in the form of things always being in a process of change. When the day ends, when the second ends, when we breathe out, that's death in everyday life. Death in everyday life could also be defined as experiencing all the things that we don't want. Our marriage isn't working; our job isn't coming together. Having a relationship with death in everyday life means that we begin to be able to wait, to relax with insecurity, with panic, with embarrassment, with things not working out. Death & hopelessness provide proper motivation for living an insightful, compassionate life"

For the month of June and most of July I was pretty much on bed rest staying at a friends place. It was one of the darkest, loneliness times of my life and I have had many of those unfortunately.  I couldn’t do anything. My body was in pain. My head felt this horrible insane pressure. Migraine headaches. Dizziness. Especially when I got up to walk. Electrical zaps going off in my head. Mood swings. severe anxiety, anything loud going on around me was like a war zone going off in my head. Short term memory was fading in and out. Light hurt me. I was depressed, I was angry; I was scared I would never be the same. I stayed in the dark in my room. I couldn’t do yoga to heal. I couldn’t even focus to meditate. I could breathe though, but in all honestly I didn’t want to anymore. But alas, the stubborn Pamela, who just doesn’t give up, chose to consciously breathe a lot in those 2 months. More then I ever have. I would direct the breath to my pain and try and heal myself. I was also popping pain killers’ everyday. I now know how people get addicted. They just want the pain to go away… they just want to be able to sleep…

Its been 5 months since then and I am once again on a road to recovery. Finding some amazing therapists, support from friends and family, and finally getting back into my Hatha, Restorative and Yin practice regularly, have helped balance me out once again. All my injuries and hard work over the past 5 years since my car accident went crumbling down when the rock hit my head. It reset all those injuries and pain as well. 

I have had these near death encounters throughout my life. When I was two I went head first out a moving bronco into a gravel pit. As a teenager I had an outer body experience as a car I was in almost went over a cliff. Still have no idea how the car didn’t go over the cliff when all I saw was valley below as I watched from outside myself going over. In 2005 I was in a serious car accident that changed my life forever and took me down a path I had no intention of ever going. It ripped every aspect of my life apart; my health, my marriage, my self esteem, my weight, my purpose and meaning for living… I had finally come full circle since the 2005 car accident, when I was in Costa Rica for 3 months this year. I was feeling the best I had ever felt on every level. Then the falling rock… 

What is the moral of this story? Honestly, I have no idea. I am grateful to be almost back to "normal." That I don’t have serious long term head and brain trauma! I am grateful that I didn’t give up when I really, really wanted to. I am grateful that in my perseverance the flood gates opened and re-routed my life once again and I am in a really good place and grateful for everyday and every breath. I am grateful for the silence and comfort of peace in my heart and in my mind finally. My back injuries that I deal with on a regular basis are a reminder of how fragile we are. That in any moment it can be taken away. My injuries show me what true boundaries are; they show me compassion for others suffering in invisible silence. They show me what the true essence of yoga and healing are all about. They give me uncanny perception of others pain and grief on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. My injuries are why I teach yoga and give myself so completely to every student who is in front of me. My injuries are a gift and a curse… the yin and yang of my life. Where would I be without them I wonder? It doesn’t matter. This is here and this is now. It is all I have. The good days are really good. The bad days I surrender and rest and do what I need to get back to the good days. Life is about finding balance. About loving and acknowledging ourselves and others completely. About embracing the gift of life even if it is filling you with fear and you do not know where it is taking you. We are all going to die. That is a part of the great life cycle. To embrace that and be fully aware of that, can change your perception and wash over you an abundance of peace to just be, to just live, to just be in the now. It is truly all we have…

‘Gratitude means thankfulness, counting your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that you receive. It means learning to live your life as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much you’ve been given. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present’  from The Change Blog

Something will be born from 
this goodbye.  In the pain of 
setting forth, something will die.
With the release of the old 
comes a moment when nothing 
is firmly held, and the unknown 
burns the bridges of the past.

When the smoke clears, my eyes 
seek out the new horizon.
Nothing is known here, but
the air is sweet and breathing
deeply I see long dormant 
seeds send up their shoots
from the fertile ground of change.
As leaves unfurl to meet the sun, 
the circle is complete. 
I will not forget a single 
step of this journey, nor will I 
let comfort lock me 
in its warm embrace.

I do not know what fruit these
seeds will bear, but I have faith
that what is taking root today 
will surprise me with its vigor.
In birth and death, the 
in breath and the final exhalation, 
there is pain and the movement 
into truth. I take the step 
that I am called to even if 
I do not know the final destination. 

Go In and In 
by Danna Faulds

Two butterflies meet in midair.
They celebrate their intimate pairing
and fly as one being with mingled wings.
When their impromptu coupling is complete
they take their leave, 
no sadness in their parting. 

Go In and In 
by Danna Faulds

In memory of  Waterfalls with Rainbows,
Yellow Butterflies & meeting Eran

"THE FIREFLY - This is a symbolic message to us humans that although our physical appearance may seem one way - it is our internal makings - what is inside us (our spirit) that makes us shine from the inside out. That which is within us will always illuminate us and those around us. 

When fireflies come into our lives they are there to guide us to ways of living that are more earth-friendly, and soul-friendly. Fireflies teach us the value of living simply, and relying on our own inner voices for illumination. Fireflies also come to us with a message of creativity, and remind us that our paths are made lighter by the beauty that we allow into our lives. 

The firefly primarily uses its light in mating ceremonies, and it is quite elaborate an intricate. Light signals are precise and exactly timed in order to attract the right mate. This is a symbolic message that if we are to attract the people, places and things in our lives, we must plan accordingly, lay down the groundwork, and be persistent in our ideals"

"Every aspect of Nature reveals a deep mystery and touches our sense of wonder and awe. Those afraid of the universe as it really is, those who pretend to nonexistent knowledge and envision a Cosmos centered on human beings will prefer the fleeting comforts of superstition. They avoid rather than confront the world. But those with the courage to explore the weave and structure of the Cosmos, even where it differs profoundly from their wishes and prejudices, will penetrate its deepest mysteries"  Carl Sagan

I took my first road trip alone by bus this past Tuesday to  Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. I was in the mood for seeing lots of monkeys and I was told this was  where to go to find them. Little did I know how many monkeys I would find… 5 ½  hours later after 3 buses with the locals and major language barriers, I made it to this slice of monkey and beach paradise. I dropped off my back pack in my cheap dive of a hotel room and headed to the huge, beautiful public beach right out front. Magical is all I can say. I took a long walk towards the end of the beach taking in the gorgeous Costa Rican scenery, watching surfers, locals and tourists all  do their thing. I notice some people pointing up in a tree and there right on  the public beach were 6 monkeys. Of course I didn’t have my camera as I just  got there and never expected to see monkeys on the public beach. But there they were, arm length away trying to take peoples bags looking for food. Apparently you don’t worry about people taking your stuff on the beach But more like the monkeys. People literally tie their stuff to the trees so the monkeys don’t take off with the bags. It was quite funny to see this and very real as I watched the monkeys being sneaky, with no fear, trying to take peoples stuff. I must have stayed there for an hour watching them – they have no care in the world about us humans. Just completely in their own world eating, playing and swinging all over the place and occasionally observing us humans. I continued walking down the beach very happy that within the first 20 minutes of arriving that I got to see monkeys already. Big smile on my face, I find a place to sit and watch the sunset. I head back to my hotel room before dark and  pass right out not even changing… 5am I am up with the sunrise (and the ants in  my room) and head over to Manuel Antonio National Park which happens to be right next door to me. Bring on the monkeys!
 

As I enter the park and head up the trail into the jungle I see a blue morpho  butterfly. They are so beautiful, my favourite.  When  they close their wings they are brown but when they fly and open them, they are the most amazing bright deep blue that sparkles in the sun. I decide to  follow it just like in the movie I saw recently called ‘The Blue Butterfly’ which was filmed in Costa Rica... As it flies down a different trail and I turn  with it to follow, an older man with a camera is walking towards me and I ask if he saw anything. He is excited and said come, monkeys! He points up in the tree and there are 5 white faced monkeys roaming and eating in the trees. I thank him and off he went. 
 

There I was alone with all these Monkeys. It was truly breath taking. This was  real jungle, not a zoo and they were right there in front of me. I literally  stayed for over 3 hours watching, observing and following these fascinating  creatures in the jungle as they lied around in the trees, branches, sitting,  eating, chasing each other, swinging and playing. They  were all different  sizes. I was blown away with their form and ease, flexibility, strength and  effortlessness moving from branch to branch, tree to tree in all these different positions. Kinda like yoga. I think monkeys are yogis, yes definitely, they are yogis :)

Then a man and his young daughter ame and stood beside me looking at  the monkeys.The young girl pulls out a banana and  the monkeys start to come  down from the trees towards us. The girl puts out her arm with the banana to one of the monkeys. Slowly & cautiously he comes down, takes the banana & runs back up the tree a bit, peels the banana and enjoys. The rest of the monkeys now envious & flocking around. Monkey See, Monkey Do! Amazing moment I will never forget.

I headed back down a different  trail to where I as told to go swimming. I find a beautiful piece of secluded sandy beach in a cove, a perfect place where you can just go out into the ocean and  float in the waves. I stayed for 2 hours and had moments of absolute pure bliss where I was laughing out loud as I  floated and looked up into clear blue sky saying pura vida, thank-you...

Last night after an unbelievable huge, full moon  and a group healing bowl sound session (with amazing crystal bowls) outdoors under the stars, I came back to my room, lit some candles and collapsed  exhausted into my bed. Starring into the candle light, deep in thought of the past, the present, what I want in the future were racing around in my brain. As my eyes became heavy and I was drifting off, the whole room started shaking. The ground under me and my bed was moving. For a split second I thought “am I dreaming the room  is moving” then I realized no, this was real and we just had  an earthquake. I  sat up and realized I just experienced my first real earthquake  in Costa Rica  on the full moon! Outside someone was shouting “Omg earthquake!” I lied back  down kinda in shock and blew out my candle next to me. Everything was still now  and dark. I thought of Japan, thought of Clara and Kumi, thought of all the  people over there that have died, have lost everything and are still feeling  that kind of movement everyday. It’s surreal. Scary. I don’t even know what to say but glad it was  only a short, small one… 

A few days ago after dinner and tea with guests on the balcony, I decided to turn in early and made my way back to my room with my flashlight. I live a short walk up hill in the workers house where  I have my own small, private, humble room and bathroom. I have to be careful walking because there are lots of critters in the dark you may step on. The frogs have been everywhere lately. I have been greeted by a gigantic frog at my door eating June bugs with his unbelievable long tongue. (see my video of the dude) So crazy. I like him though because he eats those awful critters. He can hang outside my door any night…

Anyways, happy I made it to my room without actually stepping on any frogs or surprises on my way. I open my door and race to go to the bathroom. As I reach for and roll out the toilet paper, out flies a dam SCORPION, right out of the roll! I scream out loud and Cuco (local worker next door to me) is like whats wrong?! Let me in. As I pull my pants up and make my way around the bad ass critter who scared the hell out of me, I let Cuco in… Now, Cuco is the coolest guy I have ever met. He is the hardest worker. He is why AmaTierra is in tip top shape. He is the jack of all trades and can do anything. Seriously. He can do anything!  He is also the happiest man I have ever met. He has a beautiful family that he is away from 5 days a week while he works here. 

He takes in stray animals, like the starving puppy someone dropped off here weeks ago. This sweet dog was hanging outside my place for days. I fell  in love with her and heart broken wondering what was going to happen to her. Cuco said "no worries I will take her home. My kids will love her!" And sure enough when it was time for him to leave, he packed her up and strapped her to the front of him and rode off on his motorbike with the puppy’s head hanging out  of a potato sack. It was the cutest thing I ever saw. He also never kills anything. He just picks up the bugs from indoors and lets them go outside, on there way…  

Soooooooo... back to the scorpion. So here is Cuco with a cup and piece of paper getting this dam scorpion out of my room. He gets it into the cup and we walk outside. He tells me once the rain comes they like to find a dry place to hide. He must of got in under the door. I said to him “so what you going to do with it? Let it go?” He said "no, kill it!" My mouth dropped open because he never kills anything but THESE he does. They bite, they hurt, and they make you go numb. He was bite before when one crawled up his leg under his pants. The scorpion got him 5 times at once. You get cold and numb. But you don’t die. So I guess that is good!? A little freaked out, yes I am... 

AS I WRITE THIS BLOG ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE! GEEZ!!!!!! Messed up! I need to go teach yoga. It is 645am right now… I feel like I am in the land of oz… what will  happen next?

I woke up to a heaviness in my chest this morning like something wasn’t right. I should have been excited as it was my day off and I was heading to the  beach. I went down had my breakfast of fresh pineapple, mango, yogurt and homemade oatmeal and some yummy Costa Rican coffee. Ok much better! Ready for the beach! Then I here Kenny yelling from another room ‘Pam come quick another earthquake in Japan!’. My heart sunk and the heaviness was back, oh no. I went to the other room, watching TV, CNN for the first time since I arrived here 2 weeks ago and this is what was  on -  7.4 earth quake in Japan. I immediately thought of the 2 people I know  there and checked in with them. Kenny comes out saying don’t tell the guests. I am phoning to make sure it is safe to go to the beach today. Heaviness again in  my chest. Should I go today?

I start thinking back to 2009, the Philippines, when I landed at Manila airport right after the big tsunami hit. I landed in the  worst turbulence I had ever experienced and was stranded in the soaking wet  airport for many, many hours not even knowing what was going on in the  Philippines. Then I thought of the boat ride I took that same week in the Philippines to an island that I never should have went to. It was a really old boat, the wind and the waves were brutal and I had tears rolling down my face from fear of tipping over in the ocean and drowning. I use to have a lot of dreams that I was drowning as a child in the ocean. Some with laughing clowns on  a raft spinning into a dark abyss of funnelling water. Thinking back to that moment, it didn’t feel to far off from my dreams…  

'PAM ready to go? Its fine at the beach right now, don’t tell the guests about Japan, so they enjoy  themselves today, ok?' Kenny wakes me from my thoughts of the past. Heaviness again in my chest. 'Yep, ok, ready to go'…  As I pile into the van, the guests all cheer, happy that I am coming. I put on a pretend smile and cheer back but really feel sick inside about Japan and  wondering is it really wise to go near water today? 'BEEP BEEP BEEP!' I open my  eyes and we are surrounded by cows, big cows! I immediately start laughing. Nothing like a bunch of cows to bring  you back to the present. American Kentucky folk getting out of the van taking  pictures of cows surrounding our van, all the while making fun of themselves for  it. I joined in and grabbed my camera. It was  really funny. What was even more funny, was the little old lady with a bull wipe gathering them back in. Dam she was in charge of those bulls!

An hour later we make it to Esterillos Beach. I get  out of the van and the heaviness leaves me as I set my eyes on a little piece of rustic Costa Rican beach paradise.  The waves are strong but they look perfect for a  board. I wander over to the first rental shack and get a boogie board. '$?!#  it, lets get in the water!'  Me and this other lady from the group of 18 people are the only ones in the water with a board. She is 63. So here I am riding awesome waves with a 63 year old lady who has no fear. I think to myself, I hope that is me when I am 63. So cool. I stayed in the water for hours. The waves were awesome but really powerful. Some of them scared the shit out of me especially when I did an underwater flip and didn’t come up for air right away, which felt like minutes... 

Ok time for a break. Beer break. The driver had a cooler with him and we stopped to fill it up with beer and drinks  for the beach. Beach, beer and boogie board.  I am one happy gal. As I looked out into the ocean. I noticed the waves getting stronger. Wow it has to be because of Japan today I thought. Or maybe it is always like that? Heaviness in my heart again… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP again. This time a life guard is blowing his whistle and a red flag is stuck in the sand. I go over to see what is going on. A rip tide is really strong in one area and he is telling people without boards to only go in to their waists and for us with boards to move to a different area. I head back into the water but a little hesitant as I look at  the red flag. RED flag Pam. Red is a sign Pam. I head over to the other area and off I  go once again into the water determined to get over my fears of drowning. I meet a cool girl floating among the waves who is out there as well and start talking to her. She helps run the Lowtide Lounge and has been living here for a year. She is from San Francisco. We start catching the waves together having a blast. Ahhh this is bliss… Then, I look back and a ENORMOUS wave is approaching me and I get ready. Get ready alright, to drown!  Next thing I know I am at the shore puking salt water from my lungs and through my nose is a faucet of snot and salt just a flowing. Talk about an ocean size neti pot… I look over and see Lisa and she is like 'holy shit that was huge! Are you ok!' Cough, cough, yeah I  think so… I look out into the water and it is crazy. The tide is coming in and the waves are so strong and huge. I knew this was because of Japan. I was done. The next thing I know the life guard is blowing his whistle all over the  place and getting everyone out of the water. Even the surfers. I head back to the surf shack with Lisa and return the boogie board. We all start talking about the surf and they say it is never like this, its pretty insane out there. I bring up the quake and some didn’t even know about it and others were like yeah that is why the water is like that today. Some of the surfers were getting pulled down to the ocean floor. It was that strong…. Uhhhh time for a walk…

I head out  down the beach for a long walk to a beautiful statue in the ocean of  a mermaid. The waves are crashing and bowing at her feet. So beautiful, so powerful to look at. I look over to the shoreline and see a guest clicking away with his camera in the trees. I walk over and look up and there are at least 30 huge Scarlet Macaws perched in the trees cracking open almonds. My mouth drops open and I am in complete awe. These are the endangered species in Costa Rica that are being hunted and poached for profit - the big  beautiful parrots with all the colors of the rainbow and the really long tails. Here they were right in front of us eating away almond in the trees, with no care in the world. Locals were coming out to watch this magical moment too. Out came my camera and click, click, click. Most awesome moment to be surrounded with these divine creatures in untouched nature and huge ocean waves behind us. After about an hour of watching them eat and talk to each other  in their loud cackle language, they all flew away together, wings fully expanded into the pink falling sunset…

Well it’s been two weeks since I arrived in Costa  Rica. I have been meaning to write but seriously, there is so much to experience  it is hard to find the time. What can I say but ‘Pura Vida’ which is the most  popular saying in Costa Rica meaning "pure life or plenty of life, full of life,  this is living, going great, real living, or cool" then there is the expression  twenties (wrong spelling) which is another popular saying by the locals meaning  too good. Yep, that about sums it up! Costa Rica is a magical place with so many different climates and eco systems all over the country. I am currently located  in the mountains and jungle near Puriscal, Orotina, Jaco and an hour southwest from San Jose airport. There is no tourism in this area. Amatierra is the only small rustic hotel, yoga  & wellness center nestled in  the mountains among the locals and Costa Rican jungle. We are just coming into the rainy season here which lasts until October. Now when I say rain, I don’t mean the ugly cold Vancouver kind of rain that lasts for weeks on end with dark grey sky. I mean the kind that happens about 4pm-6pm everyday that is so refreshing to be in and have after a long hot day of sunshine.The air is clean and crisp, the mountains and jungle comes to life  and  the birds and animals come out. Speaking of the  sun the temperature in this  area is 62-85 degrees all year long. It is perfect! Not too hot and definitely  not  cold at all. The storms wow! The energy is in your face. Amazing lightening storms and the thunder feels like you need to bow to Mother Nature who is reminding you she is in charge. Oh yes she is…

RAINING MANGOES, FOOD BLISS & PURE SPRING WATER - AmaTierra is magical. I am so impressed with what Bob and Jill the owners are doing with this place. www.amatierra.com. They have  created a beautiful unique oasis, big on sustainable living, growing most of their own produce and buying from the locals. There are 60 mango trees on the  property! Do you know how many mangos that is!? Mangos fall from trees on a  daily basis like rain in Vancouver. They fall on my roof at night waking me up.  It is crazy to think they are $2-$4 dollars a mango back in Vancouver. In Costa  Rica they are 15 mangos for $2.00 and they are big and juicy. I eat mango  everyday. Mango in my homemade granola and yogurt for breakfast, mango salsas,  mango breads, mango desserts. Mango Heaven everywhere! Also the watermelon,  papayas and pineapples are so big, juicy and so much flavor, flavor... yum. I look forward to my fruit plate every morning at breakfast. Speaking of food. I don’t know where to begin!? I get 3 free meals a day! The cooking staff (all authentic Costa Rican) are out of this world. They have a chef, not a cook, a chef named Pablo who should be world famous by now. He is so inspiring. The flavours he creates with sauces and dressings are to die for and yet all so very healthy. I have never eaten so well and I have never enjoyed salads and vegetables this much ever! The fish is caught locally and is so good! The tuna is mouth watering especially with the sauce they make for it. And the Ceviche!? Get out of here! The best I have ever had! Chicken is all hormone free and organic. We are going to put a cook book together soon. The drinking water is pure spring water! You can drink from any tap on the property even in the bathrooms and it tastes good. To not worry about water, is such a great blessing, but you really need to conserve the water as in dry season it is sparse...

WORKING IN PARADISE - So here I am working in paradise. Yes this is paradise for me. I am teaching yoga 6 days a week when retreats aren’t happening on the property and only regular guests are staying here at Amatierra. The yoga studio is magical and massive. I  listen to birds and animals as I teach looking into the breath taking view of jungle, mountains and green. I am giving spa treatments again but only the ones I love to give like, body wraps, exfoliations, facials and some aromatherapy relaxation massage treatments. I am also doing a bit of floral care, helping promote this awesome place around the world, going on hikes and tours with guests for free (which I still can not wrap my brain around) and also doing some guest service and  computer work and a little bit of Latin dance classes when guests have the urge  to have some fun after dinner. I am using every skill I have acquired over the years, in this one little piece of  paradise. It is fulfilling to say the least and to have such a variety of things to do throughout the day keeps it fresh and blissful. Siesta by the pool at around 2pm when it’s quiet is the best and beach days on my day off are awesome, and tours with groups just rock my world. Oh Pinch Me… 

TOURS - I am really blessed to be able to experience many of the tours for free in  this area. Kenny the manager got me on the ziplines for free!  It was amazing. A Tractor ride up a mountain and 12 amazing ziplines down to the bottem through the jungle. Can you say PURA VIDA! I do, on a regular basis...  Another tour I did was a simple jungle hike near a protected area for the Scarlet Macaws. The parrots once occupied all of Costa Rica. But hunting and poaching dramatically cut their population, and they now are  found only in two national parks along the coast, one I visited on the hike from distance. They are magical. They have guards on the land from poachers who get up to $10,000 for one. Crazy world we live in... Yesterday I went to yet again, another rustic, local piece of true Costa Rican Paradise that Kenny our manager found all on his own. A guided hike, (not for the injuried) to 3 beautiful waterfalls. Swimming and jumping off of the rocks in the pure fresh water and swinging like tarzan from the locals rope attached to a tree. Just doesn't get better then this...  Jaco is a local beach, tourist town which is less then an hour away. It was so nice to see the ocean, jump into the ocean and surrender to the warm ocean waves. Looking forward to many more days and sunsets at all the different beaches in the area... 'twenties baby'

BUGS & ANIMALS - So the one downfall of  living in jungle paradise is bugs. Bugs, bugs, bugs. Lots  of bugs. Can I say bugs everywhere? OMG there are so many bugs! Day 2, I thought  I wasn’t going to be able to handle it. But 2 weeks later I am definitely one  with the bugs.  There is nothing here that will really harm you, just creep the  hell out of  you. Some critters are so cute and I am fascinated by them. Others  like the dam June bugs that love to fly into light, into my hair, landing on me  but doing nothing, are annoying. I have shirked a few times loud and the staff  loves to laugh at me doing my freak-out dance. Spiders definitely gross! Yuk, seriously I am scared of them but yes they are more scared of me and I am  beginning to see that and calm down. They are just so dam big here and having dreams that gigantic spiders are coming down the walls to get you is definitely not helping me but that is subsiding now finally. So dramatic my brain. I try  not to kill anything, just get it out of my space and send it on its way even if it is flying out of a cup through the front door with me cursing in the  background. And ants, dam ants. Big ants, red ants. I hate ants. The big ones I kill. They bite. Not very Buddhist of me, yes but I am trying and learning to change my perspective on bugs…

WITH BUGS comes  many amazing birds and animals. I guess the bugs are worth it when you see so many varieties of amazing species. Especially all the beautiful different birds. They wake me up in the morning right at sunrise with so many different tones and sound effects. Automatic alarm clock live. Love it. My favorite bird is the Toucan. They are seriously so cool and beautiful. They are all over the place here. Last week as I ate lunch on the balcony 5 of them landed in a tree not far from me. So beautiful. Last week in the yoga studio as I was practicing on my own looking out over the valley I heard a loud rustle in the trees. When you  here a loud rustle in Costa Rica you learn to be very still and wait. A beautiful white faced monkey came swinging from tree to tree right in front of me off from the yoga studio. I got up slowly and stood staring at him. He was in his own world eating and then he looked over and saw me. We intensely starred at each other for a longime then he moved on into a tree that hid him and back down into the jungle he went. Yes amazing moment. Apparently there is a troop that likes to hang out near us. The energy is very peaceful and safe here. I am not surprised. And as Jaco grows and is developed more by us humans they are being pushed up further into the mountains. I also saw a really cool animal called a Pizote on a hiking trail here at Amatierra. They are like a racoon, ant eater and monkey all mixed together. It has a cool tail and swings in the trees like a monkey, walks on the ground like a racoon and has a long nose like an ant eater. I had a major silent freak out in the jungle as I was by myself, so excited and so fearful all at once as I had no idea what it was. I just sat still and watched it. It was across the creek from me with its long snout buried in the ground looking for food. It was pretty big like a medium sized monkey. He finally saw me and we had a starring contest. Then he heard another noise ran up a tree and disappeared. Whatever scared him, scared the hell out of me so I ran fast out of the trail, happy I  had my camera with me for another amazing moment…